Semalam ialah hari lahir saya :)

Salam dan hai semua.

Sebenarnya semalam 16 June 2010 adalah hari lahir saya yang ke-24 tahun huhuhu. Saya sudah tua tsk -_- Happy birthday to me!! Wish untuk diri sendiri hehe.

The first person who wished me of course lah Encik Tunang :) Selepas balik dari kerja semalam he pick me up at my lab. Masuk dalam kereta jeh.. Taraa..

Yellow rose represents him (he likes yellow), pink rose for me and red rose represents love :). 3 roses means 'i love you' kan? ;) Then, he treated me at Secret Recipi. Itu adalah pre-celebration i rasa. Sebab dia kata nak dinner ngan i this coming Saturday. Can't wait! Huhu. I makan Black Forest Cheese yang superduper yummy.

Dia makan Chicken Cordon Bleu. Memang favourite dia lah tuh. Takkan order food lain punye :D

Then, we both pun balik rumah cause i want to celebrate with family pulak. Just sesi potong kek jeh hehe.

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Tapi sebenarnya kan, dari pagi i asyik check and re-check my emails nak tengok either he wished me at fb or not. I dapat wishes dari ramai kawan2. Banyak. Amat banyak. Tapi none of them is from him. Yes i know, memang dia dah wished. And yet he's the first person who wished me.

Tapi entahlah, i rasa sometimes perempuan memang macam ni. Something that is nothing to a man, might be everything to a women. Even benda yang kecik2 ni pun i rasa penting sangat. Pelik kan? At least for me, this is what i'm thinking. Petang tu i ada cakap jugak dengan dia bout this thing. He said wish kat fb tu macam 'tak true'. Ok fine then. Alah...tak wish kat fb je pun. Itu pun nak kecoh kan? Heh. But, at least when someone special wall us kita akan rasa happy kan? And the feeling is different. Ni apa yang i rasa lah.

Tak tahu kenapa semalam Encik Tunang tersangat lah busy. Even time lunch i call him he was still doing his work. Then petang tu gaul ajak dia lepak malam untuk tengok Spain. How i wish i could say "Don't go. Just spend time with me." Tapi i tanak jadi pentingkan diri sendiri. Kesian lah kat dia. I memang tak keluar malam lepak kalau weekdays. Bukannya i langsung tak bagi dia gaul but why must it happened on my birthday? So malam tadi i just sat in front of the tv tengok bola but it seemed i watched nothing. Tak bestnya that feeling. Hoh!

Almost 12 am, he texted me. We both bermsg kejap. Time tu dia tak balik rumah lagi. Then..my birthday just habis. Begitu jeh.....T_T Initially i was hoping i could talk to him. Gayut2 before the day ends. Tapi lain yang diharap lain yang dapat.

Perasan tak banyak kan 'i wished' , ' i was hoping'? Mungkin i terlalu banyak mengharap which i think i shouldn't. I tak patut fikir all those so called tiny things rather than big things. Semuanya berlaku pada semalam. Mungkin ni adalah satu dugaan for us supaya kami dapat mengharunginya dengan lebih tabah.

I tak kecewa pun. I terkilan. Terkilan sebab apa yang kita inginkan tak kesampaian. Sekali setahun je pun. Wuu.. Sedihnya T_T. Last sekali i pernah terkilan was when my aki passed away i tak sempat pun nak tengok wajah arwah. Time tu i kat Matrik Melaka. Perjalanan Melaka to Kuantan takes about 5-6 hours by bus. Time i sampai arwah dah dikebumikan T_T Tapi nak buat macam mana kan, benda dah terjadi. I redha.

Selama 24 tahun ni, seingat i this is the second time i cried during my birthday. Pertama kali ialah ketika i dilahirkan di dunia.

Sayang..

Thank you for the pre-celebration.

Thank you the lovely roses and card.

Thank you for your love.

Thank you for everything.

Thank you for making me cry on my special day..

But,

No matter what happens, no words can describe how much you are meant to me.

I love you.